i thank You God for most this amazing

I will never forget the moment that I opened my eyes to the dawn unfolding outside my hospital window. A wall of glass, facing east, revealed the sky, changing in slivers from night into day. My throat was sore, but I was…breathing. I am alive, I thought, thank you God, I am alive. I thought of my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and was deeply merry. I thought of the secrecy, the discretion, since I’d learned of my diagnosis, how bad, what stage, what next, how long? I didn’t know, so I didn’t want to alarm anyone. I was ashamed and trying to tackle this all alone. But now… here I am… lying in this bed…alive… only by the very Grace of God. I must tell them. I must thank Him. Tears streamed down my face as I started to pray and a poem by E. E. Cummings danced with my prayer, and I thanked Him.