HEALING WELL

Dr. Abu-Rustum did a thorough exam. I don’t know why I thought he might not. Was it because I felt so fragile, had barely moved since St. Joseph’s Day, was still bleeding just a little bit? It was a gentle, but thorough exam, and as he moved the speculum around to examine what was left of my cervix he muttered a tiny, soothing, “I’m sorry.” I reassured him he wasn’t hurting me. He told me that the biopsy was surely a generously-sized cone, and that I was healing well.

Back in his office, the doctor explained in clear and pertinent detail, the staging of cervical cancer, the reason for such a big cone (corroborating my GYN’s stance that she was going for a therapeutic excision), and the likelihood that the bleeding was from tiny but vigorous cervical branches, exposed when the healing tissue/eschar sloughed off, like a scab falling off prematurely. He reiterated that he thought I was healing well, that I should make a full recovery, and that my cancer would be cured by a total hysterectomy. He showed us a chart with fractions of percentages describing the slim chance of cancer in the tissue surrounding my biopsy, the almost negligible chance of spread to regional lymph nodes, and the minimal expectation of cancer spreading to the ovaries or recurring in the vaginal cuff.

An expert in minimally invasive techniques, he rose to my request that he attempt a laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy, agreed with my GYN that the chances of conversion were higher in me due to adhesions from my previous c sections and the narrowness of my pelvis, but encouraged me that even open, though a pfannensteil incision, that my recovery would be swift. “Two to three weeks, at the most,” he said. “I just can’t see you lying around for six to eight weeks…after all, you’re young, you’re thin (hubby elbows me), and you’re a surgeon.”

For the first time in over a month, I was healing well.